Nature Plus Nurture = YOU

That is the first chapter of Arlene Taylor’s book "Just the Facts !". Arlene Taylor, PhD is often referred to as the brain guru. Carolyn and I have had the wonderful opportunity to connect with Arlene several times and attended a few of her presentations. She is a brain specialist and spent many years working in a SDA hospital helping patients overcome addictions. She also has a family rainbow member and is a Kinship ally. Her book has 15 chapters - each one with excellent well co-ordinated facts addressing mindset, self-talk, emotional intelligence, physical exercise, laughter, support systems, life satisfaction, brain stimulation, and other useful topics. 

Today we will focus on the first chapter - nature plus nurture. Arlene states "genetics represents the "stuff" you inherit from your biological parents and is responsible for about 30% of who you are." That includes your chromosomes and genes. About 25,000 genes, contained in your chromosomes determine your inherited traits such as body build and height, male or female organs, hair and eye color etc. By the end of your 12th gestation week the initial construction of your brain, heart, lungs, digestive system, liver, circulatory system, and personal sexuality are up and running. Your brain continues to develop throughout your gestation with neurons being created at the rate 250,000 per minute ! Nature involves genetics - the genes and chromosomes inherited from your parents - as stated above 30% of who you are.

Nurture involves epigenetics - "epi" means "above" genetics. It represents about 70% of your level of wellness and life span. It appears that epigenetics has a definite impact on your process of gestation and may start much earlier than previously believed. It appears that good and negative activities experienced by your mother can be shared into your fetus - this is known as "cellular memory". It appears that emotional situations can also alter your father’s sperm which then impacts your epigenetics too. Our first nine months of gestation appear to be much more complex and emotionally impacting than originally believed. Our brain’s wiring is extremely complex with many healthy and unhealthy connections even before we are born.

But there is one very important epigenetic component named "perceptions" which can affect your life. Carol S. Dweck, PhD states "each of us develop a mindset describing you as being either "fixed" or "growth." Your perceptions come from your mindset and impact how you perceive and interpret life. Perceptions start forming during gestation and continue throughout your life.

Fortunately as adults we can review our perceptions and change them.. Some we can just tweak and others we can reverse or eliminate. We can personally adjust our mindset as often as we desire. Our personal epigenetics reflect on the choices we make, the habits we develop, the relationships you enjoy at work and personally, the foods, drinks and personal exercises we enjoy doing, what you do, who you hang out with, the music you enjoy and many other personal decisions you make.

Who you are and who we are involves complex interactions among our brain and spinal cord, your genome and epigenome along with cellular memories of behaviors from three or four generations of biological ancestors. Your past is never dead - you carry it within you. But the most valuable information reflects how we can learn about our pasts, learn about ourselves, and make healthy physical and emotional adjustments to live our lives as healthy and beneficial as possible.

Weaving nature, nurture, mindset and perceptions together into our personal family tapestry can help each of us understand, adjust, and accept our real personal lives. Looking back Carolyn and I "accidentally" did all of those activities when we learned about our son being gay, adjusting how we still loved him and focused on supporting him and his partners over many years. As I read this very informational book I now understand more clearly how naive we were in those early years, but loving and desiring to keep our son and his closest friends safe and comfortable allowed us to adjust and change our personal mindsets and perceptions without realizing what we were really doing.

We also understood why our son was gay. He attempted to marry and deeply desired to have a family, but we had many valuable discussions about how he emotionally and personally was very strongly attracted to his partners. We loved him and accepted his feelings and decisions. His emotional health and desires were well explored and experienced. Now I see how we accepted his mindset and feelings.

Love, acceptance, and desiring healthy family benefits helped us adjust our mindsets, feelings, and perceptions. Jesus desired all of us to be loving, accepting and supportive of each other and our family members - we agree !

Let’s be truly wise and reach out locally. Together we will hope, grow, and overcome together. Jesus will smile down on all of us and give us a loving thumbs up! He will support our wisdom!

- Carolyn & John Wilt

Kinship Families & Friends Coordinators

families-friends@sdakinship.org