The current epithet of choice on the playground and in the classroom is fag or faggot. It is hurled derisively at any student who is seen as "different," whether or not the student is actually a homosexual. For the most part, this abuse is perpetrated by boys, against other boys, and is the result of parental and societal attitudes and pressures to be "manly." The quiet, bookish boy who is not interested in sports is often seen as a sissy.

The ultimate put-down today is "You’re so gay!" and this is used as well to target girls who are assertive, intellectual, or interested in sports and masculine pursuits. Such girls may also be called "dyke." Of course, not all students who have non-gender-typical behaviors and interests are destined to be homosexual, but this is considered a strong indicator. Various studies have established the probability that children with non-gender-typical behavior will be homosexual at 65-75%.1

However, many of those who are targeted for anti-gay slurs are ostracized not for their sexual orientation, but simply because they are different from their peer group in some way. In their dread of being on the receiving end of such abuse, they are likely to try to deflect attention to someone else by calling other students "gay" or "fag."

Detrimental Effect on Students

In spite of the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me," words do have the power to hurt. Worse, a continued pattern of abuse may damage a student’s self-perception or make him/her feel unsafe, so that time and energy which should be devoted to learning must be directed instead toward surviving in a hostile environment. Targeted students feel afraid and helpless. If teachers do nothing to stop the abuse, the victims will also feel abandoned by the very ones who should protect them. They may avoid calling attention to themselves by refusing to speak up in class or to participate in activities, thus become increasingly isolated.

If they are actually aware of their own homosexual feelings the trauma is increased ten-fold, and often leads to dropping out of school—for a class, a few days, or permanently; to drug and alcohol use and even to suicide. Research has shown that homosexual students are twice as likely to commit suicide as their heterosexual counterparts2 and four times as likely to attempt it.3

In addition to the harmful effect of name-calling on those students who are targeted, the perpetrators are also harmed by being allowed to continue their attacks with impunity. Over time they tend to become more aggressive and sometimes their verbal harrassment may escalate into physical violence. As adults, this "permission" to show disrespect and hatred toward others will impact their relationships with authority figures and peers.

Not Just a Public School Phenomenon

How widespread is this sort of problem in Adventist schools? Although many schools have a zero-tolerance policy for derogatory language, frequently this does not extend to slurs against sexual orientation. Teachers in Adventist schools often feel uncomfortable with this issue or may have strongly-held beliefs regarding the sinfulness of homosexuality. They are likely to ignore, downplay or excuse this kind of hurtful behavior, especially outside the classroom.

Yet as Christians we believe that no one is outside of God’s love. We have Jesus’ example of extending courtesy to all He met, whatever their social or spiritual status. And as teachers, we believe that every child is entitled to respect and a safe learning environment. Therefore, we need to recognize that opposing gay-bashing is a separate issue from our beliefs regarding homosexuality, whatever they may be. Verbal abuse of any kind is unchristian and children and youth need to be taught to consider the feelings of others.

The following stories are samples of many that could be told to illustrate the deleterious and long-lasting effects of gay-bashing in our schools:

Brad

"Mom, what does fag mean?" Brad, a fifth-grader, had a worried look on his face when he came home from school one day. June was a stay-at-home mom who had grown up in a preacher’s home, and she wasn’t sure.

"I think it’s a slang term for cigarettes," she said. "Why?"

"That’s what the kids call me at school, and the way they say it, it must mean something worse than that!" Brad was very upset.

June was upset, too. Brad never seemed to "fit in" at school. He was always the child who was picked on or left out of the group. One teacher had told June that Brad was the class "scapegoat" and needed to learn to defend himself. She was puzzled about this latest incident. She had no idea what this word might mean to school children of today. So, like a good parent, she went to see the teacher. She told him what had happened and how she had explained it to Brad.

"What else could it mean?" she asked.

Curtis Tyler’s face turned red. He looked out the window, cleared his throat, and finally began, "Well, I’m embarrassed to say it, but…"

As the pause lengthened June exclaimed, "Well, spit it out, whatever it is!"

"Well, I’m afraid it’s a slang term for homosexual," Curtis finished lamely.

June felt as if she’d been kicked in the stomach. When she could finally speak, she said, "Please see that this stops. I don’t want the other kids calling my son this name."

Not long after that June was asked to be Pathfinder leader for the church and she threw herself into it wholeheartedly. One of the club’s outings was a field trip to Canada. They had made arrangements to stay in the local Adventist school. Upon arrival, June and the other parents were busy carrying boxes of groceries into the classroom. As she dumped her box on a desk June glanced up at the blackboard at the front of the room and froze. Scrawled in big letters she saw, "Brad is a fag!" Bright spots of color burned on her cheeks as she quickly grabbed an eraser and removed the hurtful words.

From that moment on a cloud hung over June’s life. Every time Brad was teased or ridiculed about his  "difference" he would ask, "Mom, do you think I’m gay?" June tried to reassure him, but the question haunted her, too. For years June never said a word about her concern to anyone—family, friends, pastor, even her husband. Surely Brad couldn’t be a homosexual! Surely this would all be forgotten as he grew older. But it wasn’t. Eventually Brad admitted, first to himself and then to his parents, that he was gay.

Many years later Brad was on a ski trip with his family when they met his former teacher, now the conference education director. As Mr. Tyler shook hand with Brad, he exclaimed with a smile, "I always knew you’d turn out okay, Brad!"

Brad’s face hardened. All the pent-up hurt and anger from those years of misery began pouring out. "Mr. Tyler," he finished, "you did not protect me! It was your job to protect your children and teach them to be kind to each other, but you did not protect me!"

David

David’s parents were missionaries in a Latin American country and he attended a small mission school for the first four years. Nature-related pursuits were emphasized, rather than sports. He recalls this as a happy time, except for a couple of incidents: he couldn’t understand his mother’s resistance when he begged for a doll and when he wanted to learn how to sew.

Eagerly anticipating his family’s return to the States when he was ten, David soon discovered that sports, for which he had neither interest nor aptitude, were all-important here. He tried to be friendly, but classmates called him "Sissy" and made him feel rejected and different. His getting good grades and excelling in music only seemed to intensify their ridicule and bullying. More than once he heard them taunt, "Let’s kill Davey!" The abuse was not only verbal; he was shoved around and punched by some of the more aggressive boys.

He remembers feeling overwhelmed with pain, sadness and rejection. One morning when he was 12 years old, he woke up and felt he just could not go on. He was unable to attend school or church for a number of weeks, essentially experiencing a nervous breakdown. Fortunately, he had loving parents who found counseling for him and ultimately he was able to finish the school year. The next year was a little better because of a teacher who refused to tolerate abusive behavior and gave him a sense of security.

Although David’s experience occurred many years ago before the possibility of homosexuality was widely recognized, he knew that he was physically attracted to boys instead of girls. He didn’t understand what that meant, nor why he wanted to take sewing class instead of woodworking. He only knew that he longed to be normal and popular. Forty years later, those memories are still vivid. They were so damaging to his emotional well-being that he has spent years in counseling, working to overcome the feelings of fear and rejection that still affect his social and professional relations.

How Teachers Can Intervene

Unfortunately, these are not isolated experiences. And while some teachers are able to take control in situations like this, many others simply do not know how to respond. They may be dealing with concerns about how parents will react, uncertainty about the right course to follow, or their own homophobia. The following guidelines4 should help.

Consistent Intervention. Faculty and staff need to have a policy that specifically addresses anti-gay harrassment, and it should be consistently applied. This is the first step in establishing a school environment where all students feel safe and respected. Educators should never ignore or excuse an incident, or neglect to act because of fear or uncertainty.

Effective Intervention. To be effective, the adult must first stop the behavior immediately. This should then be followed up by providing education, which can be done publicly, on the spot, or later in private. Advantages of public on-the-spot education include:

a.  immediate support to the victim

b.  taking a public stand

c.  reassuring all that the school is a safe place

d.  setting a tone of compassion.

Advantages of educating in private include:

a.  "saving face" for the harrasser

b.  preventing possible embarrassment for the victim

c.  taking time to cool down

d.  allowing more time for discussion

Appropriate Intervention. The decision of when and how to educate is determined by the needs of the victim, as well as the situation. Concerns of the victim that must be considered include:

a.  embarrassment at drawing everyone’s attention

b.  fear for safety on the way home after school

c.  the victim’s history of being abused, particularly by the current harrasser

d.  the age of those involved – young children may not understand what they are

saying

Constraints on intervention may be caused by the time and place the incident occurs; i.e., in the classroom vs. in the hallway between classes. Even when available time allows only a brief response, a time should be set to meet with the abuser later for education.

Effective Intervention Language. Suggestions for what to say in varying situations might include:

a.  "That is not acceptable behavior."

b.  "Please apologize to _______."

c.  "Whoa! That is not okay!"

d.  "Stop it right now!"

e.  "What do you mean when you say, ‘That’s so gay"?

f.  "That is a stereotype. Stereotypes are a kind of lie and hurt people’s feelings."

g.  "Christians should not put other people down."

h.  "Why did you say that? Do you want to hurt _______?"

What Teachers Need to Know

Teachers need more information to help them understand homosexuality better. This can be difficult because there is a wide range of beliefs and understanding regarding homosexuality, even within our church. Perhaps the most basic issue is over whether or not homosexuality is a choice. Teachers can at least listen to the testimony of many adult homosexuals who say they were aware of being "different" from their earliest memories and who recall the confusion and panic they experienced as they gradually realized how they were "different," followed by the pain of feeling rejected by their family, their church and their God. They react to the charge that they chose to be homosexual with an incredulous, "Who would choose to be scorned, hated, ridiculed and rejected?"

Related to the question of choice, many teachers and parents express concern over the possibility that gay students will influence their peers to become gay. Although some teen-agers go through a period of unsettled sexuality during puberty, their inherent sexuality will ultimately surface. Honest, unbiased information about homosexuality offers the most help to both heterosexual and homosexual students. (See sidebar, "Psychosexual Issues for Homosexual Youth" by Harry Wang, M.D.)

Teachers should also be aware of the legal ramifications involved in situations where one student harasses another. The Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment guarantees equal protection under the law to all citizens. This means schools have a duty to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students from harassment on an equal basis with all other students.5

The Northern California Conference education department recently included a seminar on gay-bashing in schools, conducted by child psychiatrist Harry Wang, M.D. and Mr. Philip Hiroshima, J.D., as part of its in-service training for conference primary and secondary principals. One of the benefits is that by bringing the issue out in the open educators feel more comfortable in discussing it. Other conferences interested in following this plan may wish to contact Dr. David Escobar, Education Superintendent.

Teachers in an Adventist school have the responsibility for teaching their students to follow the "golden rule" of treating others as they would want to be treated if they were in the other person’s place. This includes promoting better understanding of people who are different because of race, religion or sexual orientation through stories, classroom discussion or role-playing. Christian teachers should encourage students to value each person for his/her own unique, God-given personality and talents and help develop a sense of responsible caring for each other. Then they will be ready to take their place in society as representative followers of Christ.

_______________________

¹Healy, Melissa, "Pieces of the Puzzle," Los Angeles Times, May 21, 2001

² Russell, S.T. & Joyner, K. (2001). "Adolescent Sexual Orientation and Suicide Risk: Evidence From a National Study," American Journal of Public Health, 91, 1276-1281.

³ Massachusetts High School Students and Sexual Orientation. 1999 Massachusetts Youth Risk
Behavior Survey.

2, 2001. http://www.glsen.org/templates/resources/record.html?section=14&record= 1053

⁵Joslin, Courtney, Esq. "Harassment and Discrimination: A Legal Overview." National Center for 
Lesbian Rights. Washington, D.C., 2001.

Psychosocial Issues for Homosexual Youth

by Harry C Wang, MD, Child Psychiatrist

Definitions

Gender identity is the self-awareness of being male or female, usually established by age 3. Gender role is the observable behavior which society designates as masculine or feminine, usually established between ages 3-7. Sexual orientation is the emotional-erotic attraction to others. There is a continuum of attraction that can be solely opposite-gender (heterosexuality), solely same-gender (homosexuality) or in between (bisexuality).

Etiology

Most researchers believe that genetic, biological, and environmental factors influence the development of homosexuality. A strong genetic influence is demonstrated by studies which indicate that about 50% of monozygotic twins of gays are also gay.²

Most experts do not believe that sexual orientation is a conscious choice³ and there have been no published peer-reviewed scientific studies which demonstrate that sexual orientation can be changed. Therapies that attempt to change orientation may be harmful causing depression, anxiety, and self-harm.⁴ The American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, the National Association of Social Workers, and the American Academy of Pediatrics have all spoken out against the dangers of "reparative therapies."

Impact of Homosexuality

It is estimated that about 5% of the general population are gay. In a study looking at AIDS-risk appraisal of youth in Seventh-day Adventist schools, 5% of students reported same-gender sexual experience.⁵ In a Southeastern California Conference survey, 3% of respondents said they "currently practice" or "have practiced" homosexuality. 27% had a close friend or relative who is homosexual. 35% knew someone who is HIV positive or has AIDS.⁶

Adolescent gay development

Normative tasks of adolescence include separation-individuation from one’s parents, intensification of peer relations, identity formation, and comfortableness with one’s sexuality. These processes for the gay adolescent can be complicated by fear of rejection, abandonment, or abuse by one’s parents.⁷ Peer relationships are complicated by feelings of isolation (with an awareness of being "different" as early as age 5), fear of discovery, and fear friendships will be misunderstood by same-gender friends. Identity formation can be complicated by low self-esteem, isolation, confusion, and shame.

Psychosocial issues

Anxiety and depression occurs 3-4 times more frequently then for heterosexual youth.¹² Gay youth attempt suicide 2-3 times the rate of straight youth.^12,16,17 There is increased risk of alcohol and substance use. ^12,16,17 Gay high school students are frequent victims of verbal and physical assaults at school. Teachers and school counselors frequently have negative attitudes about gay youth and often ignore students’ put-downs of gay youth. 28% of gay students drop out of high school because of discomfort and fear.²⁷ About one in five gay youth report physical attacks24 by peers and one in ten gay youth report physical attacks by family members.²⁴ As many as 26% of gay youth are forced to leave their home because of conflict over their sexual orientation. ¹⁵ It has been estimated that gay youth account for 25% of homeless youth.²⁰

HIV Infection

Adolescents are at significant risk of HIV infection. It is estimated that at least 50% of all new HIV infections in the United States occur among youth under 25.²² Although the incidence of reported cases of AIDS is declining, there has not been a comparable decline in the number of newly diagnosed HIV cases among youth aged 13-24. ²³

Ongoing studies indicate that risk behaviors remain high among young gay males. In recent samples of gay males aged 15-22 in six urban counties, seroprevalence rates were 5-8%.²²

"I realize that children can be very cruel, but when teachers and adults encourage or do not discourage mean and cruel behavior it makes me angry and very sad."—a parent of a gay child

__________________________

² Hershberger, S. A Twin Registry Study of Male and Female Sexual Orientation. The Journal of

Sex Research. 1997;34(2):212-222.

³ American Academy of Pediatrics: Homosexuality and Adolescence. Pediatrics. 1993;92:631.

⁴ American Psychiatric Association Position Statement on Psychiatric Treatment and Sexual

Orientation, December, 1998.

⁵ Hopkins, G; Hopp, J; Hopp, H; Neish, C; Rhoads, G. An AIDS-risk Appraisal of Youth Attending SDA Throughout the United States and Canada. Ministry. July, 1996:22-27.

http://www.andrews.edu/IPA/aids/manuscripts/Ministry_Magazine_July1966/Ministry-

Magazine_July1996.doc

⁶ Adventists & Family Crises:Getting the Facts. Adventist Review. August 18, 1994.

⁷ Radkowsky, M, Siegel, L. The Gay Adolescent: Stressors, Adaptations, and Psychosocial

Interventions. Clinical Psychology Review. 1997;17(2):191-216.

¹² Fergusson, D, Horwood, L, Beautrais, A. Is Sexual Orientation Related to Mental Health Problems and Suicidality in Young People? Archives of General Psychiatry. 1999;56:876-880.

http://archpsyc.ama-assn.org/issues/v56n10/pdf/yoa9081.pdf

²³ MMWR Weekly April 24, 1998;24(15);309-314.

http://www.cdc.gov/epo/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00052245.htm

²⁴ Pilkington, N, D’Augelli, A. Victimization of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Youth in Community Settings. Journal of Community Psychology. 1995;23:34-56.

²⁵ Making Schools Safe for Gay and Lesbian Youth. Boston, Massachusetts. The Governor’s

Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth. 1993:8.

²⁶ Ryan, C, Futterman, D. Lesbian & Gay Youth. New York, Columbia University Press, 1998:59.

²⁷ Remafedi, G. Adolescent homosexuality: Psychosocial and medical implications. Pediatrics.

1987;79:331.

²⁸ Walsh, J: Profiles in Courage: Jamie Nabozny, Oasis. 1996;1(3). http://www.oasismag.com/Issues/9602/oasis-profiles.html

Copyright © 2011 Someone to Talk To. All Rights Reserved.