Gay Parenting

A sizable minority of gay men and lesbian women are married or once were--and many are parents.  Conservative estimates exceed 1 million each for both gay fathers  and lesbian mothers.^105-108  Indeed, while 37% of heterosexual women have children under 18 in their homes, 31% of homosexual women also have children in their homes.¹⁰⁶  At least 6 million children have gay/lesbian parents.  The frequency of homosexual offspring among gay/lesbian parents is similar to that of heterosexual parents.  No evidence has emerged to suggest that the quality of parenting is undermined by a homosexual orientation nor is the overall well-being of the offspring children compromised.^{105,106,109-112}  Furthermore, there is no evidence that the sexual orientation of the parent--whether the child is biologically related or adopted--is automatically or preferentially conferred upon the child.¹¹³  Sexual orientation alone should not be used as the sole basis for psychiatric or legal decisions regarding parenting, child custody, adoption or planned parenting.¹¹⁴  It is not clear whether the Seventh-day Adventist church has taken an explicit position on gay/lesbian parenting.  However, by implication, the current Adventist position is probably non-supportive to gay/lesbian Adventists raising children in their own homes as a family.

I am very proud of the many gay/lesbian Adventist parents that I know.  These parents struggle to nurture their families in a world full of prejudice.  It is not easy, particularly because their church is often a place where candor is least tolerated.  But the children of gay/lesbian parents learn something invaluable:  the Savior does not expect anyone to be dishonest--not with our selves, our church, or our family.  And these same children also learn that Christian love is love--transcending sexual orientation.